One of the trains that run though Chesterton every ten minutes. They used to keep us up a night, but now we like to hear the roar of them barreling down the tracks. It sounds like home to me.
That's what it felt like anyway when I went to pay the bill for my kids' dentist appointments, after spending well over an hour in a crowded, book-less, toy-less, waiting area shushing and promising my antsy children repeatedly, though not convincingly, that we would not be stuck in that airless room permanently. "That will be five million dollars," the receptionist told me. At least that's what it felt like she said anyway when I slid with trembling fingers my debit card through the machine, and then heard it whimper.
On the way home, I received a phone call from the dermatologist. "That weird freckle we removed, Ms. Sabourin, well it has some abnormal cells in it. They weren't malignant (whew), but considering your family history (a history including malignant melanoma) we need you to come in for a more thorough evaluation of the various moles, marks and freckles on your body and then we need to see you again every six months after that. Oh yeah, and by the way, we suggest you get yourself a sun screen-slathered hooded wet suit for you to wear when you leave the house from now on." At least that's what it felt like she said when I was trying to process all of this new information.
Three hours later, I was filling a shopping cart in Shipshewana, IN with organic local beef, chicken and pork priced less per pound than what I'd pay for regular meat at my neighborhood grocery store. I experienced an odd amount of fulfillment and joy while doing this. Perhaps because caring for my family in this way brings me a great deal of satisfaction, or because it reminded me that the time to feast and rejoice is around the corner. Maybe, it was because I just really like breakfast sausage.
Now it's late at night and quiet. I will soon make myself some tea.
A little frustration, a little scariness, a little giddiness, a moment of peace, all in the course of a Thursday - all woven together every day to form my life.
Praise be to God.