A young woman in our parish got engaged and coffee hour was buzzing yesterday with talk of wedding plans. It's all terribly thrilling, leaping into new beginnings. Just last night, my groom of nearly fifteen years and I huddled on the couch and studied like our sanity depended on it a manual on loving, and communicating with, teens. Did you know that next month I'll be the mother of an honest to goodness, real live teenager? Yes, we're cannonballing into our own new chapter of marriage and parenting. Some other pretty big things are going down around here as well, which I'll refrain from expounding on except to say my head is full of questions and fears and excitement.
It takes a courageous leap of faith to dive with gusto into a moment, morning, month, year, experience, aware that anything could go wrong at any given time. It's easy to over analyze, micromanage or worry yourself into a stunted tizzy. It's constantly, constantly tempting to become overwhelmed by the long road ahead of you. The only antidote I know for this, that I can vouch for, is prayer. And that's the truth.
I'm clinging to this one (I've posted it here before) like my peace of soul depends on it. Peace to you all as well.
O Lord, I do not know what to ask of you. You alone know what are my true needs. You love me more than I myself know how to love. Help me to see my real needs which are concealed from me. I dare not ask for either a cross or consolation. I can only wait on You. My heart is open to You. Visit and help me, for the sake of your great mercy. Strike me and heal me; cast me down and raise me up. I worship in silence Your holy will and Your unsearchable ways. I offer myself as a sacrifice to you. I have no other desire than to fulfill your will. Teach me to pray. Pray You Yourself in me."
- St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow
* By the way, I am resuming my "The Way I See It" series. Next week's theme will be: Portraits.