I found myself at the library recently yanking books like "Raising Kids with Character," "How to Behave so your Children will Behave" and "How to Reason with Tweens without Pulling Every Last Hair Out of Your Head" off the shelf. "I'm in a bit of a parenting rut," I told the librarian, with my eyes.
It happens sometimes. The six of us Sabourins can drive each other crazy. Priscilla wrote a poem for class recently, which included the lines:
Hurry, Hurry to school in the morning
My mom is freaking out ...
How embarrassingly true that despite my concerted efforts to remain calm, cool and collected while trying to get my four kids (and husband) dressed, fed and out the door (with a packed lunch and homework in hand) by 7:45 am, I've been known to become, somewhat comically, unhinged:
ARE YOU UP THERE R-E-E-E-ADING!?!
I WANT YOU IN THAT MINIVAN WITH YOUR TEETH BRUSHED AND SHOES TIED IN 15 S-E-C-O-N-D-S!"
Still, though, despite the bickering, the headaches, the oft mindboggling messes, the late night second-guessing of some of my choices as a mom, I'm in love, love, love with this riotous clan I am privileged to belong to.
Filling their bellies, holding them in my arms, making them laugh, them making me laugh, being serenaded by the sound of their continuous singing, comforting them, being so needed by them, overwhelms me every-once-in-a-while (I wish it were more often) with gratitude, and a keen awareness of how crazy, incredibly blessed I am.
Yes, my grass, this patchy grass right here on this side - my side, is more than green enough.
All I need, to thrive and learn and grow, is what I've already got.
That's what's on my mind this Friday of Bright Week: family, faith and forgiveness.
I am dependent on all three.
you've got me all perplexed, exhausted, desiring to be better.